Misogynistic Ahadith Part 1- Objectification of Women?

 

Objectification of Women?

Introduction:

[al-Kafi Volume 5 page 335]

Narrated Ahmed ibn Muhammad ibn ‘Abdullah:

“Imam al-Ridha’ once said to me, ‘If you want to marry, marry a woman of large buttocks.’”

الحسين بن محمد، عن معلى بن محمد، عن أحمد بن محمد بن عبد الله قال: قال لي الرضا (عليه السلام): إذا نكحت فانكح عجزاء)

‘Abu ‘Abdullah said that the Commander of the Faithful said: “Marry woman of brunette color, wide buttocks and of medium height. If you dislike her, her mahr is on me.’”

محمد بن يحيى، عن أحمد بن محمد بن عيسى، عن مالك بن أشيم، عن بعض رجاله عن أبي عبد الله (عليه السلام) قال: قال أمير المؤمنين(عليه السلام): تزوجوا سمراء عيناء عجزاء مربوعة فإن كرهتها فعلي مهرها

These ahadith may seem discriminatory and/or misogynistic to many at first glance. One may even end up making incorrect conclusions by reading these traditions without analysis. 

In this series I will aim to explain all these narrations and how they’re not misogynistic or discrimnatory.

Let’s tackle these problems one by one, God willing.

Section A - Background.

Let’s start by getting some background on these traditions, so that we may understand the intended message behind the words of the Imams.

[al-Kafi, Volume 6 page 23]

Imam al-Hassan narrates from the Holy Prophet:

“Feed your fetuses laban (milk) because if the fetus in the mother’s belly is fed with laban, then his heart would be stronger and his mind, sharper. If the newborn would be a male, then he would be brave, and if it were a female, her buttocks would be wider, which is favorable to her husband.”

6 - محمد بن يحيى، عن محمد بن الحسين، عن محمد بن قبيصة، عن عبد الله النيسابوري، عن هارون بن مسلم، عن أبي موسى، عن أبيالعلاء الشامي، عن سفيان الثوري، عن أبي زياد، عن الحسن بن علي عليهما السلام قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله: أطعمواحبالاكم اللبان فإن الصبي إذا غذي في بطن أمه باللبان اشتد قلبه وزيد في عقله، فإن يك ذكرا كان شجاعا وإن ولدت أنثى عظمت عجيزتهافتحظى بذلك عند زوجها

Note: Some translate اللبان as frankincense , however, I personally am not sure of which translation would be the accurate one. Either way, this is irrelevant to the discussion at hand.

Big buttocks was considered a sign of beauty in women in the Arab world, contemporary to Prophet Muhammad and Imam ‘Ali’s time.

Thus, the wording of the narration cited above gives the impression that it is specific to a particular group, in this case, the Arabs to whom the Prophet was preaching to.

Wide eyes and big buttocks are how Shi’i ahadith describe the Houris/ Hour al-‘Ayn of Jannah (wide eyes = حورالعين).

The Hur al-‘Ayn have traits reflecting on the tastes of contemporary Arab culture, who preferred women with wide eyes and big posteriors.

Thus Allah says,

“And with them will be women limiting [their] glances, with large eyes.” (37:48)

This verse isn’t racist or discriminatory towards smaller eyed Asian women- rather, it is appealing to those to whom the  Prophet was preaching to in this context; that is, the Arabs. It is basically Allah telling the Arabs that if they follow Islam, He will grant them their choice of women in paradise.

Thus, if the Houris of Jannah being “wide eyed” women isn’t considered discriminatory towards Asian women, then one makes the same conclusion with the case of women with big buttocks and brunette hair (that a woman without these characteristics is not in any way inferior).

With that we conclude section A. With this background information, let’s return back to the ahadith quoted in the introduction.

Section B - Explanation.

When Imam ‘Ali and Imam al-Ridha recommended marrying women with specific qualities such as “large buttocks, brunette hair”, they are in fact appealing to their society which preferred women with said qualities. 

The Imams are basically telling the Muslims: ‘Marry the most beautiful women (per your social standards).

And if you don’t have the Mahr (dowry) to do so, I’ll pay it for you.’

Section C - Why marry women for their looks? 

Akhlaq and piety of a woman are valued more than her looks in our ahadith, but the main reason the Imams urge Muslims to marry someone they are physically attracted to is so that they :

1) Do not fall into the trap of Zina (fornication)

2) Do not forsake their wives in bed, leaving her unsatisfied (which may push her to fornication too).

3) Prevents both of them from having an unpleasant marriage .

Thus, the deeper Islamic wisdom behind asking muslims to marry women whom they are physically attracted to, is so that both the man and the woman are protected from the traps of fornication as well as from having unpleasant marriages.

Since we’ve proven the ahadith are limited to societal context, one must not focus on the specific traits mentioned in them but rather on the actual, deeper, intended message which is to choose a partner for yourself wisely, lest you end up committing a sin or having a failed marriage. 

Section D - Comparison with the Qur’an and Sunni sources.

Comparison with the Qur’an:

“Beautified for people is the love of that which they desire -  of women and sons, heaped-up sums of gold and silver, fine branded horses, and cattle and tilled land. That is the enjoyment of worldly life, but Allah has with Him the best return.“(3:14)

Allah describes “fine branded horses and cattle” as enjoyments of the worldly life. 

Are horses and cattle still, in this day, considered worldly enjoyment? Nope, but this doesn’t mean the verse becomes inapplicable.

Rather, one must take the greater message from the verse, which is that the love of شهوات (their desires) are beautified for them.

Those could be an iPhone, could be a Tesla, could be a robot ten years from now. One shouldn’t look at the specific examples in this case but rather at the greater message.

Similarly, one must not look at the specified traits for physical looks of women in the narrations but rather the greater message, which we have clarified, God willing.

Comparison with Sunni Sources:

[Sahih al-Bukhari 3237]

Narrated Abu Huraira:

Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "If a husband calls his wife to his bed (i.e. to have sexual relation) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the angels will curse her till morning.” 

This narration in a non-Shi’i source emphasizes the dislikability of forsaking one’s partner in bed which leaves them angry or disappointed.

Conclusion:

It is incumbent upon the man to ensure he gives a fulfilling marriage to his wife, and if he forsakes her in bed because of not being attracted to her, then this will leave the wife unsatisfied, leading to a complicated and unpleasant marriage.

It is obligatory upon both spouses to fulfill each other’s needs in every way, and provide each other with a fulfilling marriage.

To conclude, we cite a tradition from the Imams.

[al-Kafi, Volume 5 page 333]

Abu ‘Abdullah al-Sadiq said:

“If one marries a woman for the sake of her beauty or wealth he will be left alone with such things; but if one marries for the sake of her religion, Allah provides him beauty and wealth.”

علي بن إبراهيم، عن أبيه، ومحمد بن إسماعيل، عن الفضل بن شاذان جميعا، عن ابن أبي عمير، عن هشام بن الحكم، عن أبي عبد الله(عليه السلام) قال: إذا تزوج الرجل المرأة لجمالها أو مالها وكل إلى ذلك وإذا تزوجها لدينها رزقه الله الجمال والمال.

Wa Allahu ‘Aalam.